Lament of a Branded Nurse
by aries03
Summary: Finally...We here Olivia's first hand account of her relationships with George and Alex. Now with a bonus chapter containing Alex's rebuttal. Please r&r. I greatly appreciate any reviews.
1. Chapter 1

I know what everybody says about me. I hear the whispers at the nurse's stations, in the stairwells, in the elevators, and especially in the cafeteria. They call me the man-stealing, disease wheedling, loose nurse. Yes, I definitely hear all the rumors. I hear them talking about me, but nobody ever talks to me.

I really had liked George. I don't know what first attracted me to him. I don't know…maybe that caring smile. I had it really bad for him, you know. He would walk into the room and everyone else would disappear. People started saying I was nervous, self-hesitant, but that was just because he made me so flustered. Then, he started noticing me, too. I knew he was crazy about Meredith at the time, but maybe, if he would get to know me, he would feel the same way about me.

Then, out of the blue, Alex started showing interest in me. I couldn't believe it! I had never been the popular one in school. The popular kids barely even looked at me, and then, here was Alex Karev showering me with attention. It blindsided me…made me lose total concentration…that someone all the women wanted suddenly wanted me. I know it was wrong, but I wasn't myself at the time. I slept with him in the on-call room. Afterwards, I deeply regretted it. Who I really wanted to be with was George.

The miracle finally happened when George asked me out! The skies parted and the angels sang, I swear! It was a magical night. I couldn't have imagined anything more perfect. George was charming, handsome, and finally interested in me. He was everything I was looking for in a man at the time, and I felt totally comfortable opening up my heart to him. Should I have slept with him on the first date? Maybe not, but you have to understand, this was what I had been dreaming of. He took my breath away. I didn't even consider at the time that he was only going out with me to try to get his mind off of Meredith, and I really didn't know at the time that I had syphilis from Alex. Contrary to common belief, I would have never knowing passed the disease along to George. I was ashamed.

George got very angry at me. It broke my heart. Every day I would go to work and just watch him _not _watching me. All of a sudden, out of the blue, Alex started paying attention to me again. I thought he was still with Dr. Stevens at the time, but he assured me he wasn't. Again, he blindsided me. He took my grief, wrapped it in with his own, and things got out of hand. When Dr. Stevens walked in and caught us in the act, I had felt so ashamed. Really—I would never have even considered sleeping with Alex again if I had known he still had a thing going with Dr. Stevens, and again, I deeply regretted my choice.

There you have it. That's my side of the story. No, I'm not perfect. Nobody is, but please, stop spreading these horrible rumors about me. I just want to do my job without everybody starring for once. Is that too much to ask? It's just something to consider.

The End


	2. Bonus chapter: Alex's rebuttal

"Hey, Joe, how's it going?"

"Oh, hey, Alex, it's been a slow night. Bar's been almost empty since we opened. You look a little more troubled then usually, buddy. What's going on now?"

"You know Olivia…that spunky, red-headed nurse that comes in here a lot? Well, she wrote a blog about her "relationship" with George and me. It was a total blow, man. I mean, I'm not a totally bad guy, am I?" 

"No, man, you have one of the most caring hearts in that place. You just have to show it more often so more people can know that."

"I know, but people like me deserve a little break once in awhile, you know. Do you know how much stress is put on you in this field? You have these tests to pass and surgeries to memorize. One mistake could kill someone. Boom! Just like that…you're career could be over. I don't handle stress well. I'm supposed to be Alex, the cool hearted. People expect me to be laid back, relaxed. That expectation creates even more stress, you know? So, I do that one that can take my mind off of it all in a hurry, I "go out" with girls. I know that it's wrong. Although I would never admit it to anyone but you, Joe, I really am looking for a monogamous relationship. I want to find that _one_. Then, there are the girls you absolutely fall for that aren't able to give their full heart to you."

"Izzie?"

"Yeah. I fell hard for that one, but she loved Denny. I can't blame her for that. In all honesty, as much as I refused to show it, I was happy for her. I was happy for her, and it killed me all at the same time. I could tell her heart wasn't there throughout it all, so I found companionship elsewhere. My foolishness kills me, now, but it felt so right then. I want her back so bad, but she isn't over Denny yet. I can't blame her for that either."

At that moment, Izzie walks through the door and heads straight for the bathroom.

"Hey, Joe, I have to get going. She's the one person I don't want to see right now."

"No problem, man. Take it easy."

"You, too."

With that, Alex walks back out into the cold night, only glancing back inside once to see his one true love sitting at the bar with Joe.


End file.
